February 2012
166 posts
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Should probably work out how I'm getting to uni...
cool story. I have no money for petrol, no petrol. Today I decided to do something completely nice and cute for my friend. But it completely failed, so I wasted petrol. AND I didn’t get anything done. And now I have no petrol and no money. So maybe I’ll catch a train. or smthng.
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I need to stop actually believing in people....
again and again and again and again.
so effing alone.
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I'm going back to sleep because I simply don't...
Why do I feel so soul crushingly crap?
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What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy?
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Just when I think I’ve found something good. Something special, something I can rely on and trust.
And then, in one tiny little way, that means nothing, I feel like I’ve lost everything, and I feel stupid for ever putting in my all. I feel like I’ve been played, and I feel alone, so very very alone.
No one did anything wrong, but I feel like I’ve been cheated.
I’m...
good morning tumblr.
I did not sleep well. again. and now here I am, trying to sort out my life. also, again.
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more old writing.
There are no trumpets, none that you can hear. But now as I think it, fog has never seemed so clear. The clouds had gone it seemed, But here I’m lost in this endeavor, “now” I hear them say, is the beginning of forever. Sadly though I wrote them, those words don’t comprehend, forgetting of my life and luck, beginning at the end. Witness now the silence, The trumpets none...
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old writing.
you are helpful as your eyes are bright. you are wonderful as your lips speak words. and i am sorry, sorry for my lips and words. I just need someone to hold my hand, and by sitting though this it’s what you do. I don’t have anyone, to hold me through it. you are my only spark of hope, your hands. I stand alone, have they ever stood alone? I don’t have anyone, anywhere, in reality. except...
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when you remember I exist. you make me want to...
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lightning stirkes.
It’s like we go through life, living, trying, and every now and again, to keep us on our toes, we get struck by (metaphorical) lightning, sometimes, we are hit so hard, it knocks us out of the game for a little bit, and sometimes they are little ones that just make your fingers tingle. But no matter the size, every time you are hit, it takes a bit out of you, it makes you older, wiser,...
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Sometimes I wonder what the tipping point of my...
Like, when did it happen that it just became this absolute shit. How did it happen. was it when I was born? was it all fine until I was born, and then the weight of the world landed on me? Was it when I was being carried? Was it when I turned 2? Was that when I got hurled into the fiery depths of bad luck? Or is it more of a constant thing, like, just every now and again, another lighting bolt...
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I'm clearing out our inbox's too eachother,...
But I can’t bring myself to do it.
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I am in love with a man from the late 1800's....
I have been one acquainted with the night. I have walked out in rain—and back in rain. I have outwalked the furthest city light.
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Things I'd rather be doing than Tumblr
xcrimsonandcloverx:
Having sex.
And uh having sex.
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I can always do it later. I always have it as a last resort. But this kind of day dreaming, bringing this dream into reality, isn’t something you can come back from. I can end it, but I can’t start again. You can’t start again.
How long does it take to drown?
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it kind of feels like there is a giant void in my...
But when you tell me you care, it’s like my heart explodes and for a split second, the aching stops, and I feel warmth flooding into my limbs. It’s like I get a vision of happiness. But it lasts as long as a gasp.
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thinkings.
but If I scold you, what would I gain? Can’t think of a logical way to explain, stuck in a car, in the wrong lane, but I want to be leaving away on a train. I really hate not to hate to complain, I cannot give this feeling a name, these lyrics are driving me loco insane, now start the chorus all over again. here we go round, the merry merry kick you off the ride visions scary, here we go...
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It’s so full of life down there,
It’s not just water and mud,
It’s home,
There are things living there, and you don’t understand them,
We don’t understand them,
And they don’t understand us.
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The fire
And it burns your eyes, but it makes you feel alive.
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nanana-heyjude:
when david tennant winks it makes me giggle like a little girl
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I will not lose you like we lose so many brilliant...
I will not. You are a part of me forever. Always and forever.
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Never have I felt more sisterly than now.
I am a sister. For ever, and for fucking always. No matter what.
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Today. I felt somewhat attractive.
tomorrow I will probably be a mess.
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I had a brilliant night last night.
and maybe am now re-obsessed with Justin Bieber. LOL
Macedon square garden…
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“I have a shy Uranus”
– People
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I wrote this 2 years ago. this is a new edit.
outside inside out
I look at you Moon up in the clouds. I wish i could be there in the land of peace sitting wanted and in silence with you. I try not to pass on from the pain of being, being here, being anywhere! The idea of being hurts. And Her “never ending” and I’m sure once or one day her “maybe murderous” words and my unwanted tears from inside (or out) are all hard to ignore. ...
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I did this two years ago. I want to see how much...
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
The way i can sometimes make other people happy The way I can Sometimes make someone else feel beteer.
sometimes i am funny nothing
i like weird things nothing
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
im never happy I am often upset.
involuntary love Involuntary love.
my need of attention My anxiety/social awkwardness.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR...
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Anxiety
Having anxiety, is like having someone slapping you in the face every 2-5 minutes.
Trying to go to sleep while you have anxiety, is like trying to go to sleep, with someone slapping you in the face every 2-5 minutes.
you have to sleep eventually though, and when you do, it doesn’t stop the fact that your face is being slapped every 2-5 minutes and you wake up, feeling as though you have...
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you have over 700 friends on facebook, but you hide your information from the public? ‘Oh no sorry, only people I know personally can see my profile, I like to control who is viewing my content’ It’s like wearing sunglasses inside, with the lights off.
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i'm not going to post things that I think people...
I will post things I like, to gain self respect.
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I think if tumblr notifies you when someone starts...
just so you can see, and look at their blog, and work out why they stopped following you. For me, it would be a way to work out how to make a better blog.
Sometimes I feel like screaming at people “I have been alone in everything for a really long time, I’m fairly sure that I would miss being a kid, except I never was one”
And then, maybe they would love me because I really am an extraordinary human being that deserves to be happy.
Then I remember that I’m not. I’m just an annoying complaining weirdo that the people...
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I wrote a really bad song and it has no music.
I never saw it ending this way, I saw lights and brightly colored faces, I saw a cloudy day, and I never thought of your face, and I never thought I could embrace the way i feel feelings of being here painful and burning brutal, I feel like I can fly, and away from here, always, I’ll be there always, but I’m leaving you tonight, I never wondered how It would feel I only thought of,...
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